A bit of a mess

From time to time, I tell myself I'll begin writting frequently. I'll write about lighting and things I find interesting. The problem is... well, there are in fact two problems: lack of motivation and lack of words. Lack of motivation because I find so many stuff in the net that looks so interesting and I set up by posting those interesting things on my fb wall. (Orquidea Vara Iluminación). I think that if I post something in my blog, it should be something more than images or info, something that would make this mine, and the only thing I feel mine are my thoughts, though many are from others, I think I can arrange them in my own singular way.

As the tittle suggests, my life is a bit of a mess right now, but I think it usually is, and there's not much wrong with it. There are just few things of which I am certain. I love ligth, and I love to work with light, going t meetings, thinking in projects, reading about it, and thinking every time in something more about light, like a possible new luminaire I'll make when I've got some money, or how wonderfull/terrible a project is, and learn from everything I see. I love light, and that's one of the few certainties I have.

My life is a bit of a mess. I'm not so self confident as for selling myself as a brand perfectly well so job isn't going as well as I thought. Heart's not perfect either, but I don't see my life as a chick flick. And the good news is that I'll be able to walk again soon (I hurt my foot like a month and a half ago), and my family is with me, no matter if I'm too annoying and invasive, or I just can't move.

I can't complain about my life. It's just... a bit of a mess and I wish I knew now to untangle it.

Do you remember Disney's Alice in Wonderland? I think I kind of feel like her right now. I'm not saying that I want to go to a tea party, drink from bottles I don't know the content or follow a rabbit. I feel as lost as she does on some point in the movie, where she is following a path that is suddenly erased, and she can't go back either. That moment, that specific moment, before she meets the flowers, I feel that way. I don't know where to go, or which path to follow, I can't even see a path anymore nor go back my steps, but I know I don't want to be here, I know I want to be somewhere else, and I know where. I just... don't know how to get there.

I'll figure everything out soon. I just need to get out. This non walking period in which my world has been significatively reduced is messing up with my mind. I need to go for a walk. Maybe in a month.