"Life's too short for the wrong job"

I've just seen this image from a publicity campaign for Jobsintown.de with the slogan "Life's too short for the wrong job" in here. I've seen it before, many times. I love it. I've even sent an image to a friend, and I have always defended that, but... now... somehow... it hit me. 

I love light. I think I've made that clear long time ago. There's something about lighting design that I feel really happy working with it. And I mean lighting design, not just formulas that have been applied to every product that gets to the office. I love talking about light, watching stuff... I feel passion. I become excited, my eyes become brighter... for some moments, it's even better than being in love with someone. But, I'm afraid I should leave this soon. 

Last December was the last time I was working in an office. December 9 the last day. I've been trying to be on my own since then. First I got really sad, then I thought now or never, things have been fluctuating between those two. 

In July I decided it was too much, and I was running out of money, so if nothing happened, I would be searching a job in September, even though I wouldn't want to be in an office for more than 8 hours a day, not being able to have a bit of daylight, doing projects I don't like, from people who don't care, and earning too little a month (average for this is around 750USD per month). 

I broke the ligaments of my right ankle, so I was not able to apply for any job until I could walk again. I had a meeting and I got excited and thought it was fantastic, but I wasn't called back after telling them how much I would charge. 

Then I got lucky and got an pass to a workshop and a series of conferences, everything about light, taking place in a city near mine. I am so excited about going. So, so excited. I haven't been in contact with the lighting world for so long (just my own individual world and talking with friends from KTH, but it's not the same as before). I'm excited about it, but it has also become a bit of a problem as I need money for the hotel and meals and I have not enough. I could ask my parents, but... why do I have to ask my parents for money? 

And again, with this in mind, I've decided again to seel my life for 750 USD per month, sell my dreams, my ideas, my ideals. Begin looking for a job on November, when all this is done, if I don't get something big enough before. It will always exist this "if", as I wouldn't want to deny my dream a last chance. With this decision taken, I come home and decide to stumble a bit, and find this image that makes me think again.

Should I keep pursuing my dream, not caring about my economical future? or should I look for a job selling myself for some money? Is life really too short for the wrong job?

Back to the writing

It's been a while since last time I post. I think I wasn't feeling ready.

Some things have been happening, maybe not lots of things, but I have thought about lots of things and realise many others. I'm not saying I'm over with that, I'm just saying I feel ready to come back to write my blg again. No huge efforts, not trying to do something so amazing I would never be able to do because it will never be good enough... even if it is. I will just write. About what? Things I love, things I learn, things that happen and make an impact in my life... just things.

I mean, this blog is entitled light, love, life, so... it's fine for me to write about light, about love, any kind of love, and life, specially my life as I know better about my life than anybody's else.

Ok. I think before I begin writing about my everyday life from now on, I should write about what has happened over the last months.

On December I was fired from LUA. I wanted to quit, it was... it didn't agree with my values and concerns as a lighting designer and an employee with a lighting master degree...but I didn't, I decided to try to control myself and keep in there at least until the first 3 months, but I got fired 10 days after the second month because "I didn't fit in the team" and even though I "contributed more than some other that had been there for much more time than me" I "was not like them" and that they preferred to hire someone "that knew nothing but could be given to my boss for him to mold him as he wanted". And I got happy for leaving but upset at the same time because they were firing me for having knowledge, not experience (also said that), and not being like everyone else (light was for me a passion, not just another architecture job). It was hard for me to get over it.

January was fine, but I got sick. Half my body got swollen and moving hurt, lying hurt, sitting hurt... everything hurt. Doctor said it was stress. (stress?) It was also sales time so I went shopping.

My birthday was in February. It was nice and calmed. Not a party, not a big deal. Rainy day in Mongo with family and bf. No good pics either.

In March I went to Acapulco for a weekend. I needed it. Beach, sun, sand, pools, food, and family of course. We haven't gone on a family vacation for quite a long time. I also met a friend from KTH and his gf. They came to Mexico. She's lovely. He's the same guy I met years ago that made me angry all the time. I loved meeting him again. No pics. (Why don't I have pictures of anything?)

April was slow, but interesting. I was called for making the lighting design of an office, but after giving a quote I was not called back. Still waiting for the call. I lost 2 weeks cleaning my computer and backing it up, and testing with a new program so I could make 40 renders in 2 or 3 weeks for a guy. As soon as he received a program, asked for some lighting advice and asked me for the price of the renders and a lighting project of an office, he never called back. Lesson learnt: don't do anything, nor give simple advice before an advance. You'll just be losing your time and your money. Oh! And good news! I'm doing a lighting project, small, but challenging: A house. (Remodeling project, big challenge). And I met a girl, a luminary salesgirl who's helping me with this and giving me business advices. She's awsome. But I think that would belong to May.

I'm still with Xuxu and he is right now at Xilitla (you should go, you would love it, I'm dying to go there). I miss him. He's coming on Thursday.

And... I bet that was it, more or less, about me, light, love and life.

Hugs and kisses,

Orqui

PS. I promisse I will take more pics this year!

The Beaver

It seems rain will never stop, at least not this summer. I have never been really fond of summer, at least not like normal summers. Something always happens, it's a transition period for me in which i lose something, in order to gain something, I guess, but I never know what I'm gainning.
I bet the only great thing about summer are movies. There are lots of movies, specially movies for children, although not the only ones, and I love going to the cinema and forgetting myself for a couple of hours, in the middle of the dark, where nobody cares if my hair is perfect or I'm just a mess. Where you are taken to another world and are thinking about different things that your usual, or where you can cry as you relate what's happening in there to an idea fixed in your head.

Today I went to the movies. Rain was hitting my sister and me since we left home since we get to the movie theatre. There were even small ice rocks!

Anyways, we finally got there, and could see "The Beaver", a strong movie in which Mel Gibson is a sad, lonely and depressed man, who once was great and now he cannot do anything but sleep. His wife cannot stand this anymore so he leaves, and buys liquor in the way. To keep the alcohol in the trunk he throws everything he's got in there to a huge trash container, but sees a beaver and decides to keep it. This is the beaver that is saving his life.

My sister made me notice that it was not really the beaver, but some instinct deep inside him, the one who made him create the beaver and get rid of it, to live.

I found this movie fascinating. I cried most part of it. It's about a man, and dreams, and being yourself, and fighting for being happy, and never giving up, and never thinking it's fine and that's the way it should be if you are not fine with what's going around. It tells you that everything depends on you. You can decide. It's your choice to live or to die, even when you continue breathing.

I liked a lot this movie. Mmm... what can I tell about the lighting? Good photography, not impressive lighting, but very well done. I mean, not full of colors or fancy places with great lighting design, but the movie... well, it had this calmed light. This light that makes you see everything in pastels, and tells you family stuff, drama movie. Every kind of movie has it's own kind of lighting, it's a way of putting you in the mood, of telling you how to feel. This kind of lighting in a terror movie would be a great mistake!

Hope you enjoy summer, I'll keep looking for a way of dealing with farewells, and rainy days and summer.

Lots of love,

Orquidea

Colors in Järna

Järna is located in the south of Stockholm. I went there once while studying at KTH to a lecture about colors. It was a gray and rainy day, so I guess it was around November, and I also remember I was all in red. There is a video by Andika Pradana about our visit. It was amazing their vision about color and how it could improve our health and livez,  their words about Goeth and their color theory (still looking for the book, if anyone knows where can i buy it, in English, or Spanish, please tell me). I think it was amazing, although a pitty it was such a gray day and the books were in Swedish :( (I love buying stuff of the places I go to, if I'm interested, specially books).
Nevertheless, I had the opportunity of visiting it this time I went back to Sweden, and it was the most amazing experience. I have to confess that before presenting my thesis, I was feeling really full of energy and happy and super active, and... well... amazing! But that day... That was an awsome day.
I went with Annelie to Järna. She drove, we couldn't find the signs, we finally found them and got to the place. It seemed it open just for us!
Oh!, I've got to tell you that there is an exhibition in Järna right now named See! Colour! that is mostly about color, as you can see by the name. I had two favorite parts, the ones of experiments, where you could play and understand light and color, and natural phenomena by touching and playing with all the stuff. The other part... were the installations by James Turrell.
OMG! Have you seen Turrell's work? if you haven't, I strongly recommend you to go. Most of his installations left me as... when you are doing yoga, after meditation, that amazing feeling of being there but not being there, or time not existing, so happy and calmed, and so... light and amazed... Others were just as being inside a dream. It was an awsome experience.
Anyways, if you have the chance of going, please... go! It's an amazing experience, once in a lifetime.
At night we stayed for the lights show in the Skyspace. Trully amazing. The only problem was that it finished quite late and I was dying for a toilet, but we met two guys from a business program who were living near and let me used the toilet of their residence. Really nice the guys!
We returned wuite late, but the experience was amazing! Absolutely amazing! If you've got the opportunity to go, please, do it, but remember to pack lunch first, because there are no many options in there.
hugs and kisses!!!
or...
puss och kram?

Flying tips!

I have had several experiences traveling by plane: some fantastic, like 2 years ago, when I was going to Sweden for the first time when somehow my travellingg class was upgraded by the airline when I checked in and I ended up traveling in World club or something like that, with complete privacy and a seat that could move to make me sleep in a kind of bed; some a bit tight but cheap and fast, like traveling by Ryanair with friend to any lighting event in Europe; and some pretty exhaustive, like this time I went to Sweden, in which I hardly slept, my first plane was delayed, lot the other 2, and feared not being able to reach Sweden or home as my flights back were cancelled because I didn't take the previous two.

Anyways, travelling by plane has been an adventure for me, as after being old enough, even though traveling with my family I and kind of in charge of the papers, tickets, passports, finding the way and so on. Well, at least now I feel I can move all around the world without feeling, well, completely lost. I felt this way when losing my plane in NY and not knowing what would happen next, going to Frankfurt airport instead of Heathrow and not having my bags, not even knowing where they could be. And I finally made it. When coming back to Mx, my parents and bf mistook the terminal and waited for me in terminal 2 instead of 1, so I found myself alone when going out and was ready for taking a cab. (If my family wouldn't have come for me, or I would be living alone or something like that, I think I would have taken a cab, gone home, drop my bags, and go to a friend's birthday party... or go directly to the party. I stopped feeling that as something crazy).

I've learnt some things, and I think I'll apply them next time I fly, anywhere in the world.

• Light packing. I bet this is the most important thing I've learnt. You don't really need 5 pairs of shoes. Pack just what you need. There's no need on going through the airports with heavy bags, and when finally arriving taking a huge bag. Besides, you always need space for the stuff you buy in your trips. Well, I like shopping, so I do need the space in my luggage and don't really think like throwing any of my older stuff away.
• Personal luggage basics. I don't know if it is called personal luggage, but i call that way the backpack you take with you in the plane. If there are short flights, this may be the only one you'll carry, if not, it's important you have your basics with you. You never know what happens to your bags after you check them in. Always have in this bag at least one change of cloths: t- shirt, underwear, maybe a pair of pants, socks, etc. Have at least a jacket with you, depending on the place you are visiting, where you are coming from, season, temperature and so on. Basics: Toothbrush, small shampoo, toothpaste, deodorant, make-up if you consider it a basic (just if you are someone who thinks no way someone will see me without make up), if not, just to not look destroyed, sunglasses, and lipgloss,  and I guess some mascara a spoon and eyeliner won't take much space, oh, don't forget a pocket mirror. Cash (if you don't have money from the country you are visiting, dollars are accepted almost everywhere). Your card, id, passport, ticket and any important papers you'll be using (keep them in a separate, easy to reach pocket). Camera (you never know). Lap top if you are using it, if not, don't even take it. And all the things you are planning to take there, like fragile objects, presents or that kind of stuff.
• Get on time. Sometimes you can be pretty lucky and take the flight if running and arriving just on time, but it's better to get there some hours before. You never know what can happen, like your ticket being canceled, you going to tax free service, the check in line too long, or the baggage drop line too long. It's better to wait in there than to lose the flight.
• Dress for the ocation. If you are going on a long flight or one or more stops, avoid high hills, short skirts, and any kind of uncomfortable clothing. Use travelling cloths, and take a jacket with you, sometimes the plane is too cold, although some times you have blankets and pillows in the plane. Something funny happened to me this time due to my cloths. I was wearing a comfortable t-shirt with the legend: "No pictures, please". I had a great time! Ok, terrible flight and flying incidents, but nice people in the JFK airport smiling and joking with me, even with the pic taken when you show the passport, and also in Frankfurt, I met a couple because of my shirt. The man asked me for a pic with his wife just because my tshirt said no pictures, please. Nice people, and fantastic talking to them. This brings me to the next advice.
• Have always a smile and travel in a good mood. I think this is extremely important. Take whatever comes, and always treat people the best way, smile and be nice. It's great how peoplein the airport smile to you, and how you can meet people, or get the help you need if asking in a nice way. Also time goes faster when waiting.
• Tax free shopping. First question: do you have another stop before your final destination? If the answer is yes, forget about buying liquors, they won't be let into the plane as hand luggage in the next airport. Do you have a limit that is taken seriously? Then don't buy anything that cannot go into your hand luggage.
• Seating. If you are not interested in seeing through the window, then please, ask for an aisle seat! Also if you go frequently to the toilet. you wouldn't like to be bothering people. Oh, also a pillow would be nice for not bothering people, and remember not to be poking nor kicking the seat in front of you.
• Luggagge. Mark it! All bags look the same! Put a  mark on yours and also a card with your name and adress. Important if it gets lost.
• Buying the flight. Analize all the possibilities and expenses. Sometimes the cheapest flight doesn't happen to be the cheapest at the end, due to transportation towards  and from the airport, the time it goes (sometimes it's just too early), the things you'll do in the different stops, the money you'll spend there, and the possible problems you might have when having more stops, or travelling with a certain company, or towards a certain airport.

Mmm... I think that these are the most usefull things I have learnt from traveling. They are pretty basic, but I hope they are useful for you. I haven't figured out what to do with the nausea, dizzyness, or terrible feeling when landing or going through air bags, or strange stuff, hope to know before next time i take a plane.

Hugs and kisses and wishing you the best of flights,

Orquidea

Finally a Master!!!!

I haven't written for so long... So sorry, dear blog I abandoned you for some weeks. I've been bussy, really bussy, either preparing my trip, either enjoying it and too tired as for writting something. But now, back home, I can do write again.

So... good news: I am a MSc ALD Arch, which means... I'm a Master in Science in Architectural Lighting Design Architect. Isn't that just amazing???? I'm so happy about it.

It was a huge trip, in which I learnt lots of things, not just about light, but about traveling, and a lot about me. I'll write about the lesson learnt each day, if possible, in my next posts.

For now, I can just say I am happy, really happy, and somehow I feel so... different and at a time just the same. I feel more peacefull and light but full at the same time. I feel I've taken the right path and I like it. I feel special and so normal. I like this, I like it a lot.

What have I learnt?

Feelings are important, and if able to provoke them with lighting design, what could be best?
Dream, dream a lot, unreacheable dreams... and reach them, and then... keep dreaming, everytime more and more, higher and higher every time. (You'll feel fantastic about it, just amazing)

Firelight

Lots of people talk about the inner light, that inner force within you that makes you go on, and on. Today I was listening in the radio something about fear, and taking the decision you fear the most, stop thinking so much and just do whatever you feel like. Get out of your comfort zone a dare to get whatever you want, be whoever you want to be. Maybe let the fear be that sparkle inside of you that will light everything up so you become a firelight.

Besides talking about this inner light and being one of my favorite songs (in the same category as "Beautiful" by Chrsitina, or "Born this way" by Lady Gaga, I love the lights in the city at night, the way some buildings are  lit at the beginning of the video. I also do love all the colors of the fireworks going out from the chests of everyone who finally dares to be him or helrself.

I just have one thing to say, let's be ourselves! no matter friends, think we have changed, o things around us seem really scaring... let's take a chance! let's jump to the abyss, let's... let's dare to be ourselves!!!

hugs and kisses,

Orquidea

Deep into light

These weeks I haven't been able to write. I've found myself very busy trying to manage time for thinking a bit about something worth writing and writing it down. This week I've been working, having family issues (like my dad getting sick), issues with an almost ghostly bf, researching about the printing of my thesis and checking it so I can send it to the publishing place and get it before I leave.

Lots of stuff, lots and lots of stuff to do and nothing done yet. But among all these things, I realised how important it is to be immersed into the lighting world, or the world you love if you are not into light and learn little by little, even if you think you are not doing anything important.

I realised this fact these last days. Last week I talked to an aunt who is an architect as well, but she is very into restaurantion and conservation of historical buildings. She also builds some appartments on her own. I was talking to her about light and luminaries. She told me I should do not just something on lighting but do something on electrical stuff and so on. She didn't understand the importance of lighting design and light in space, at least not as something special and besides design and technical stuff.

This week, talking to my bf, another architect, he was trying to understand gow much electricity could be saved by using leds instead of fluorescents. I could give her some numbers, and I did, comparing the wattage of a cfl and a retrofixture with leds, but that wasn't enough. Sometimes, it doesn't matter one single lamp, but the design and the luminaries used in the whole place. Maybe not flooding it with light, but have enough light as for creating a nice atmopshere suitable for the things done in that place. Maybe it's not using another lamp, but a suitable lighting design for the whole place!

I think it is important to be deep into the things you like. Months ago, when I was not working nor thinking about it, I would have never answered these questions or even realized people didn't understand light was important for a place and a good design would save you lots of money. Well, I would have realised this, but not thougght it was the opinion of architects.

So the only thing I've got to say is get deep into the things you like, and, if you have the chance... talk about it.

Hungry for your touch

This is a photograph from the great Czech Jan Saudek (one of my favorite photographers) called "Hungry for your touch". I have it as wallpaper in my lap. I took it off when I wen to Sweden, thinking it would be a bit too painful to have this pic when my family and bf were in the other side of the world. Nevertheless, after a while I put it again, as I think it's so beautiful, poetic and inspiring.
Yesterday, back at home since long, I was thinking in the touch, in how much I wanted, needed to be touched and how little we touch people. I'm not talking about being touched as when you are with your bf, but... being touched. I love touching people, and I'm always doing it. I hug a lot, am always bothering my parents and sister, going over them, crushing them, kind of choking them with love, hahaha, but... it's not common.
Sometimes I feel i need to be touched, and I thik people all around the world feel the same from time to time. I'm not talking about hugs and kisses, but a hand in the shoulder, the kiss in the forehead, or just a small touch saying "I care about you".

A big hug,
Orquidea

Ps. Check Jan Saudek's pics, his manage of light and color, and concept... well... he's just amazing.

Light me a light

Lately I have been doing something I shouldn't be doing, cause it makes me sad and confused: I've been watching news.

I look all around me, and listen to stories about my country, I receive mails telling me how to protect against being kidnapped or robbed, I turn on the TV and see news such as revolutions and protests and disasters all around the world.

A year ago, when a friend was leaving, I gave her a candle light, small and yellow. I also gave her a chocolate I took from Mexico, and a small letter. The letter was to tell her I missed her. The chocolate to sweaten her life, and the candle light to light her way, to brighten her future. A nice metaphore for wishing her all the best now that we would come appart and who knows when would we be meeting again.

A candle, a light. So many things to be said with a single light surviving and giding us on the darkest nights, in the darkest moments, just a single and tiny light to have hope and trust in the future.

I want to see that light. I'm tired of so many sadness in the world. What is happening? I wish there could be a light, a light we could all see that anounces us a better world, a better future, the so desired happy ending. I guess it would be nice if we could all, just turn on a light.

I leave you a poem I love from Barak Al'Mondia: Light

Light me a light any kind of light,
Just shine its beam into my darkest night,
For like a child I stay up in fright,
So light me a light any light tonight.

Candlelight, moonlight any light is just right,
For in that light I might find my might!
Don’t sing me a song, don’t hold me tight,
Just light me a light, any light tonight.

Light me a light to assist my sight,
Just my naked eye darkness cannot fight,
So before darkness gets a chance to bite,
Light me a light any kind of light.

Flickering, glaring or outright bright,
I don’t care what kind just light me a light,
All I need is darkness away tonight,
So light me a light any kind of light.

so... please, light me a light, any kind of light. Light the world a light... any kind of light.

hugs and kisses,

Orquidea

Saturday Morning

So here I am. Saturday morning, laying over my coach, watching fashion blogs (fashion pics, in fact) and posting them to facebook. Also checking facebook, and trying to find a life in the middle of all this mess.
I'm kind of working in a kind of propossal for the lighting of a facade in which my bf is involved. Always involved in something that will let him with no time for me, even trying to do what I am supposed to do.
My parents are out in a baptise, my sister is so tired as she went clubing last night and I... am just in here. I wished so much to go out with friends, clubing and so on... but let's face it, I'm not able to do that. I don't drink, I have never been a club girl, when i went out on Sweden I couldn't walk for the entire weekend... but I do feel I need something more. I need new stuff in my life. I got  anew job, but we are just 3 in the office, counting me, sometimes 4, sometimes just 2... On Monday there will be hold some lighting talks, to which I'm not going due to lack of money...
I think this is just not the day for me.
On the other hand, I'm enjoying so much the flowers and purple trees in here. The weather is amazing and I might be traveling soon again.
I think I just need some emotion in my life. Just some emotion to make me happy.

Light, life and fast food.

I haven't written for a loooong time, a week or so, I guess, but I have been so busy these days!
Last week, I spent most of the week doing paper lamps for the exhibit on Thursday. I think that the most successful one was one completely made of flowers. It took a lot of time, but was quite pretty. When I have a decent pic I'll post it, promisse. (I didn't take my camera, so I just have iphone pics).
It was a great night. A big party with lots of people watching the different designs. This was done by Adlai Pulido, who is trying to make people know designers and their designs, putting them in attractive environments, such as parties!
The weekend was not so exciting, but on Monday I began working in Sáas, a Lighting Design office here in Mexico, and the project I'm in is... Mc Donald's lighting! It's amazing how it has changed it's image, at least the stablishments all over the world!

So Mexico cannot be left behind and is also changing the McDonalds interior design and its lighting.
While I was making the research, I wondered if it was right going into this project, when I don't like McDonald's at all. In Stockholm I ate one burger that i remember, and here in Mexico, I haven't eaten McDonald's in 10 years!
On Tuesday I went to a McDonald's and could get into everywhere! Employees room, ceiling, kitchen, even the huge refrigerator who reminded me so much of Sweden (because of the deliciously freezing cold)! And well... making a project is so exciting... so I decided I will keep doing the project, even though i will never eat in a McDonald's... ok, i might try something in a McCafé...

I just leave you with the link of the movie called Super-Size me... about McDonald's food...

Hugs and kisses!!!!

Lamp making

Flowers, flowers, flowers and... oh, yes... flowers. Nothing else I can think about. And no, I'm not becoming a gardener as every living stuff my hands touch somehow dies (still with the trauma that every bean plant I planted just died, or never grew). And yes, I'm still very much into lighting and this is what it is all about.
Some of my lamps are using flowers, so I am making them, just like the ones in the pic. It's been a whole day cutting, folding, cutting, unfolding, cutting, pasting, pinching... and my little hands hurt soooooo much!!!
The good thing about it, is that I had time again for checking out blogs (I've become a blog reader, and follower, and there are some that I love so much sometimes and I post into facebook) and getting more inspiration. Not for designing new lamps as the ones I am making are enought for now, but for continuing working, inspired by works so well done... or by inspired people, or by inspired ideas.
So this was just a post saying... i'm still working! Really inspired... really happy and excited as my thesis is done...
I think life is pretty, weather is warm, the breeze is amazing and things are flowing!
so... let's follow the flow...

hugs and kisses!!!

Freelance!

Hi!

I am so happy and relaxed today. I have just had my first experience as an independent freelance... and it's finally over!

It was a complete nigthmare full of abuses of my clients and a project that I thought would take a month took 3! (no more because I decided to finish it as soon as possible). Me, the proffessional, sending them e.mails that were not answered but 3 weeks later, and suddenly having to answer phone calls and e.mails at midnight in which you scheduled last minute appointments to next day, quite far from where u are, and that would end at night, without caring you are a girl, in one of the biggest and most dangerous cities, listening to a spoiled girl who thought she knew everything shouting at you and cry everytime you made what you were paid for (talking about architecture and design, giving advices, explaining stuff), and finally, they ask you to give them for a minimal amount of money more than you had told them, and when you don't want to, and explain them why, they just tell you, two days before the final delivery, they are not interested anymore in what you agreed months back, so you are not getting your money.

I think it is important to hae a lesson at school about working on your own, treating clients, and stablishing limits, so... the next post, for keeping them short, will be about dos and don'ts when beeing a freelance in the design business. Things I would have liked to know and now I won't forget.

Hugs!

Año Nuevo/New Year

11.48 pm del último día del año 2010. En muchos lugares lo celebran a lo grande. Una cena elegante, una fiesta, un brindis, o algo especial con esa persona especial. Muchas celebraciones alrededor del mundo. Pero... ¿por qué?

Para mi es sólo un cambio de calendario, un día más, una cena más a pesar de los esfuerzos y el tiempo de mi madre en la cocina.

12.27 Regreso después de 12 campanadas, el brindis y una llamada.

Una cena, y el cambio de agenda, programas en la tele, llamadas. Para mí, sigue siendo una noche. Es mejor no verla como especial o corres el riesgo de sentirte solo.

Lo que sí fue inevitable para mi, fue recordar el año anterior, escribir algunos correos a algunas personas, pensar en algunos amigos, pensar en el futuro...

Supongo que aunque no me embriague la felicidad de las celebraciones debo decir:

Feliz Año 2011!

11:48 pm of the last day of 2010. In many places it is a big celebration. A fancy dinner, a party, a toast, or something special with that special person. Lots of celebrations all around the world. But... why?

For me it is just a change of calendar, one more day, one more dinner regarding the efforts and time of my mother in the kitchen.

12:27 I return to write after midnight, the toast and a call.

A dinner, and a change of agenda, tv shows, calls. For me, it's still a night. It's better to see not as something special or you might feel lonely.

What was unavoidable for me, was remembering the previous year, writing some mails to some people, thinking in some friends, thinking in the future...

I guess even though I'm not swollen by the happiness of the celebrations, I should say:

Happy New Year 2011!

Las mujeres exigimos respeto! Women demand respect!

LAS MUJERES DEL MUNDO, EXIGIMOS RESPETO!

Creo que hablo a nombre de todas y cada una de las mujeres al decir esto. Que mi voz sea la de todas cuando digo:

Estoy cansada.

Estoy cansada de ser presa de mi sexualidad.

Estoy cansada de no ser libre de caminar por mis calles sola, e incluso acompañada en ocasiones.

Estoy cansada de que me hagan gestos.

Estoy cansada de que me chiflen.

Estoy cansada de que me manden besos.

Estoy cansada de que griten.

Estoy cansada de que me digan cosas.

Estoy cansada de que me miren con lascivia.

Estoy cansada de que no quiten los ojos de mí.

Y todo esto, vestida como sea, porque sucede aún usando pants, jeans, o suéteres que te tapan por completo.

Estoy cansada de no poder vestir lo que quiera.

Estoy cansada de que idiotas crean que pueden tocarte porque quieren.

Estoy cansada de ser prisionera sólo por ser mujer.

Y todo esto, tener que soportarlo, o ignorarlo porque nadie lo cree importante. Porque al parecer si algo así pasa, tú tienes la culpa. Tienes la culpa de pasar por ahí, aunque sea tu camino obligado, con gente de clase sociocultural alta, media, o baja. Tienes la culpa de vestirte como te vistes, sea de pants, jeans, o vestido y por supuesto, provocarlo. Tú tienes la culpa.

BASTA

Nosotras NO tenemos la culpa de nada. Sólo de ser mujeres. Nosotras no provocamos nada. Nosotros no creamos deseos ni pensamientos. Nosotras sólo queremos ser libres, tan libres como los hombres lo son. Queremos sentirnos seguras. Queremos respeto.

Hombres y mujeres somos iguales. Tenemos las mismas necesidades, las mismas obligaciones y los mismos derechos. Merecemos respeto. EXIGIMOS RESPETO.

WOMEN IN THE WORLD DEMAND RESPECT!

I think I speak for all and each women by saying this. Let my voice be all women's when I say:

I am tired.

I am tired of being condemned because of my sexuality.

I am teired of not being free of walking by my streets alone, and with others sometimes.

I am tired of receiving gestures.

I am tired of being whistled to.

I am tired of being shouted at.

I am tired of being said things.

I am tired of beeing looked at with lust.

I am tired of being stared at.

And all of this, dressed anyhow, because it happens even if you are dressed in pants, jeans, or huge sweaters.

I am tired of not being able to get dressed however I am.

I am tired of idiots who believe they can touch you just because they want to.

I am tired of being a prisionar just because I am a woman.

And having to bear all of these, having to ignore it, because noone thinks it is important. Because it seems if these happens its¡'s your fault. It's your fault going that way, even if it is the only way, in a high, medium, or low sociocultural class zone. It's your fault for dressing as you dress, be it pants, jeans, or dress, and of course, procoke it. It's your fault.

STOP IT!

It's NOT our fault! Our fault is to be women. We don't provoke anything. We don't create thoughts, nor desires. We just want to be free, as free as men are. We want to feel safe. We want respect.

Men and women are all the same. We have the same needs, the same obligations, and the same rights. We deserve respecto. WE DEMAND RESPECT!

25

¿Qué es lo que alguien debe hacer a los 25? ¿Cómo se supone que debe ser la vida a los 25? ¿Acaso de esta edad depende todo tu futuro?

Veo a la gente de mi edad con casos tan diferentes al mío. Casándose y teniendo hijos, o encaminados a esto. Probablemente trabajando en una compañía grande, o con un "futuro prometedor". Probablemente viajando por el mundo. ¿Qué es lo que se debe hacer a los 25?

Si no hago nada de esto ahora, ¿me arrepentiré? ¿Lo haré en algún momento?

Hay muchas cosas inciertas.

La vida sería mucho más sencilla si hubiera un manual que te dijera qué se espera de ti a cada edad, qué es lo normal, qué es sobresaliente, y qué te hará feliz.

Creo que mi fin último es la felicidad. Siempre la estoy persiguiendo. La felicidad... ni siquiera sé lo que es, pero la quiero.

Tal vez los 25 no sea la edad para saberlo, tal vez los 25 siga siendo la edad para buscarla.

What should someone do at 25? How is life supposed to be at 25? Does your entire future depends on what you do at this age?

I see people my age with lives so different to mine. Getting married and having children, or on their way to this. Probably working in a big company, or with a "bright future" ahead. Probablyh traveling all around the world. What should be done at 25? Will i regret if i don't do any of these now? There are so many uncertain things at 25.

Life would be much more simple if it would be a manual that tells you what is expected from you at each age, what is normal and outstanding, and what would make u happy.

I believe my final goal is happiness. I am always chasing it. Happiness... I don't even know what is it, but it's what I want.

Maybe 25 is not the age to know it, maybe 25 is the age to look for it.

Gelatina/ Jellow

En algunas ocasiones te sientes encerrado en una gelatina. Estás inmerso en un coso transparente que no sabes cuándo se derretirá. Puedes ver la vida a tu alrededor. Puedes ver el movimiento, incluso puedes sentir el movimiento, pero no estás fuera, no puedes provocarlo. Estás inmóvil en medio de una masa que te controla y te muestra todo, una masa que ansías que se derrita, pero que te protege y sabes que sin ella caerás.

Son divertidas. Las gelatinas.

Sometimes you feel enclosed in a jellow. You find yourself immerse in a transparent thing that you don't know when will it melt. You can see the life around you. You can see the movement, even feel the movement, but you are not outside, you cannot provoke it, you cannot live. You are stunt in the middle of a mass that controls you and shows you everything, a mass that you wish to melt, but that protects you and you know that without it you would fall.

They are fun. Jellows.

Ciudad de noche / City in the night

Las ciudades de noche son asombrosas e impactantes, y cada una tiene su personalidad, incluso cada parte de la ciudad tiener su propia personalidad, para nada igual a otra.
La noche en Estocolmo, cuando la hay, es fría y silenciosa, larga y con poca gente, sin carros y con autobuses nocturnos. Calmada.
La noche en Berlín es diferente. No es lo mismo la noche en el centro, llena de luces de comercios, y anuncios, que la noche en otras partes de la ciudad, en los parques, un poco más oscura y tenebrosa, pero segura.
La noche en la ciudad de México es muy diferente. A pesar de todo, sigue llena de vida, con luces moviéndose por todos lados, espectaculares, movimiento, ruido, tránsito, incluso burbujas... y... no caminas por todos los parques.
Cada ciudad es un pequeño universo, con su propia personalidad, sus propios colores, y sus propias luces.

Citites during the night are amazing and impacting, and each has its own personality, even each part of the city has its own personality, its own vibe, and is not as wny other else.
Night in Stockholm, when there is, is cold and silent, long and with little people, no cars and night buses. Calmed.
Night in Berlin is different. It is not the same night in downtown, full of lights of stores and advertisements. than night in other parts of the city, in parks, a bit darker and spooku, but safe.
Night in Mexico city es very different. Even though, it is still full of life, with lights moving everywhere, huge advertisements, movement, noise, traffic jam, even bubbles, and... you don walk through every park.
Every city is a small universe, with its own personality, its own colods, and its own lights.

Obscuridad /Darkness

La oscuridad siempre significa lo desconocido, lo oculto, lo misterioso, aquello escondido que anhelamos, o aquello que tememos. Todo se encuentra en la oscuridad.

Cuando la luz lo revela, las cosas puede decepcionarnos, sorprendernos, asustarnos o calmarnos. En la luz nos sentimos seguros, pero nos gusta escondernos en las sombras. Necesitamos esra dualidad.

¿Qué pasa cuando la dualidad se presenta? Cuando el espacio lo inunda la oscuridad, y la luz es sólo un recuadro inalcanzable?

La luz brillante nos llena de esperanzas, de sentimientos positivos, se convierte en una metáfora donde podemos encontrar de dònde asirnos cuando estamos inmersos en las sombras.

Las sombras no siempre son malas, en ocasiones ocultan a los demás, nos hacen sentir en peligro, en un abismo sin salida, donde no podemos ver la puerta aunque estè justo junto a nosotros, pero en otras ocasiones, las sombras pueden ser protectoras, nos esconden y nos abrazan, no nos muestran a todos cuando no queremos salir.

Ambas, luz y sombras, son metáforas que tenemos en la cabeza sin siquiera darnos cuenta, metàforas que llevamos a la vida real y nos ayudan a seguir adelante, o a disfrutar lugares y obras de arte.

Darkness has always mean the unknown, the hidden, the misterious, that concealed that we aspire to, or we fear of. Everything is found on darkness.

When light reveals it, things can be disappointing, surprising, scarying, or calming. In the light we feel sure, but we like to hide in the shadows. We need that duality.

What happens when duality appears? When the space is flooded by darkness and light is just an unreachable shape?

The bright light fulls us with hopes, positive feelings, itbecomes a metaphore where we can find where to grab when we are immerse in the shadows.

Darkness is not always bad. Sometimes, it hides others, it makes us feel in danger, in a deep abism with no way out, where we cannot see the door even if it is next to us. But in other ocassions, shadows can be protective, they hide us and hug us, they don't show us to others if we don't want to go out.

Both, light and shadow, are metaphores that we have in out head without even realizing it, metaphores that we take to real life and help us to go on, or to enjoy places and art pieces.